Friday, November 28, 2008

Fun Fact

So I read this really cool article about teaching people CPR. Apparently, if you do CPR to the tune of Stayin' Alive, people remember how to do the procedure with the correct compression rate and depth (100 times per minute, 1.5 - 2 inches deep). One of the paramedics at the hospital told me that her instructor taught them to the tune of Another One Bites the Dust. I think that's unnecessarily morbid.

Someone helpfully created a video for You-Tube. Best line: "Feel the ribs a breakin, you gotta keep your faith and keep 'em alive, keep 'em alive."

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Makeover!

Since I will probably never make it to What Not to Wear, I decided to do my own Christmas makeover. Well here you have it: what I look like with makeup. And a Sarah Palin wink.

(Bonus - I also learned to dance!)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

"Bill" Endorses Hillary for Secretary of State

This is possibly the best "Bill Clinton" video from SNL of all time. "Bill" gives the best argument yet for why Hillary should be the next Secretary of State. Enjoy.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Sweet Sweet Sondre

I just saw Sondre Lerche at the 9:30 Club and it was sweet - except for the old lady (okay she was in her 40s) who didn't understand the concept of standing room only and told me twice how rude I was to stand in front of her. Her daughter filled her in though and was overhead to tell her that "you can't do things like that Mom." Awesome - she just got schooled! That's how I roll, uh huh.

So anyway, Sondre is sweet and funny and you should check him out.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Domesticated - The Part Where I Cook Again

Banana bread. What a wondrous creation. The secret is to bake the bananas beforehand. Can you believe I even know a baking secret, let alone two? (Readers of my previous posts will recall the shortening secret).

And viola - perfect banana bread and it only took 2 hours to make one loaf.



Off the Juice

I've been off caffeine for two days and its been awesome! I'm sure my co-workers noticed a whole new Kelli yesterday. I was mean and surly for the first several hours and tired and cranky for the last several hours. The only pleasant time was dinner where I took a moment to drink my caffeine free Dr. Pepper. Maybe as a service to humanity, I should find some coupons for Diet Coke (with lime please).

Speaking of bad days at work, check out this guy. But he handles it like a pro.

Friday, November 21, 2008

ER Etiquette

So I learned tonight that ER is in its last season (this cheese has been over-ripe for a LONG time). But it got me thinking about all those Thursday nights in college where the world stopped so we could catch the lastest drama on who's sleeping with whom in the midst of saving lives (cue dramatic music and heart monitor beeps). And I wondered if my job had enough material to be a weekely soap opera. Turns out, the answer is a resounding...no. The ER's too dirty a place to kindle a romantic hook-up.

However, sometimes people do things in the ER that makes my jaw drop. So here's some basic ER etiquette for all you potential patients out there.

1) Don't come into my ER complaining of abd pain with nausea/vomiting and the first thing you ask for is food. If you can eat, you don't need to be here.

2) If you think you might be pregnant, take a pregnancy test at home. No need to get us in the middle of it. And no, we can't tell you the very day and hour of conception so you're going to have to invest in a paternity test in 9 months.

3) If you haven't been making poopy, please try to get things moving at home (google it people).

4) Please, please, please write down your meds. We don't know which med is in your little pink pill you take every morning. They can't all be as well known as the little blue pill you take every weekend (wink).

5) If you're going to get drunk, please do it from the safety of your own home. And if you're passing out in front of liquor stores, it may be a sign from God that it's time to pull an Amy Winehouse and go to rehab.

6) Finally, if your doctors are looking at you like this, it's probably because you've done something really embarrasing and all the hospital staff wants to get a look (I think half these guys are from housekeeping).